I said, looking back now, I didn't know what it was supposed to be, and it's like raising kids, man. If you weren't raised, you don't know how to raise, you know? I just did the best thing I could with them because they know well I love them. But I didn't do the best I could, and that's what I was doing. I didn't. I will never forget watching my mother get put in a straitjacket and taken out of my home when I was only seven years old. She was diagnosed with dementia praecox and put in a mental institution, leaving my daddy alone with me and my little brother Lloyd. I later had an evil stepmother who further cemented the idea that I didn't need a mother. Growing up without one had long-lasting effects I didn't fully understand until much later in life. It bled into my relationships with family and those I had become romantically involved with. Whenever I got too close to the woman, I would cut her off. Part of that was vindictive and partially based on fear, but it was also totally subconscious. Looking back, it's a bitch, isn't it?