If I could rewind time like a tape Inside a boombox, one day for every pill Or perc a set that I ate Cut down on the volume, I'd have heard everything But death is turning so definite, wait They got me all hooked up to some machine I love you, bean, didn't want you to know I was struggling Feels like I'm underwater, submerged like a submarine Just heard that nurse say my liver and kidneys aren't functioning Been flirtatious with death, skirt chasin', I guess it's a rebirth, Jay Same nurse just heard say they're unplugging me And it's your birthday, Jade, I'm missing your birthday Baby girl, I'm sorry, I fuckin' hate when you hurt, hey And sweeties, thank you for waiting to open gifts But girls, you can just open them, Daddy makin' it home for Christmas Wish I had the strength to just blow a kiss I go to make a fist, but I can't make one I'm frozen stiff, I yell, but nothing comes out I'm crying inside, I shout, my vocal chords won't permit me I scream, but it's not allowed You put your arm around mama to calm her wow I just thought about the aisle, I'll never get to walk this town Never see you, graduating, your caps and gowns It's bound to be 2008, how's this happenin' now? I got so much more to do, in proof I'm truly sorry If I let you down, but this tore me in two The thought of no more me and you You gave me shoes, Nike's like new For me for school Duty, I'm trying, but you You were the glue that bind it So many things time I'd give anything to rewind it I had to walk down my halls And constantly be reminded By pictures all on my walls And I couldn't sleep at night Cause that image burned in my brain If you on that table, me falling across your body Not able to stand to save you God, why did you take him? I'm trying to keep his legacy alive But I'm dying, where's Nathan? Little ladies, be brave Take care of your mother Smile pretty for pictures Always cherish each other I'll always love you And I'll be in the back of your memory And I know you'll never forget me Just don't get sad when remembering And little bro, keep making me proud You better marry that girl Cause she's faithfully down And when you're exchanging those sacred vows Just know that if I could be there, I wouldn't Should you ever see parenthood I know you'll be good at it Oh, almost forgot to do something Thank my father too I actually learned a lot from you You taught me what not to do And mom, wish I'd had the chance to have one last Heart to heart, honest and open talk with you Duty, I see you, I go to walk to you And I can feel my soul leave my body And float across the room Nurses lean over the bed Pulling tubes out Then the sheet over my head Shut the room down Girls, please don't get upset I see them cheeks soaking and wet As you squeeze hold of my neck So forcibly, don't wanna let Me go pillow drenched Emotional wrecks With every second, he's closer to death But suddenly I feel my heart begin to beat slower than a breath Machines go What's the guest of cheat codes for this shit? I'm trying to rewind time like a tape Find an escape, make a beeline Trying to wake from this dream I need to refine My inner strength to remind me Even if a steep climb I must take To rewrite a mistake I'm rewinding the tape All I wanted I put out this last album Then I'm done with it 100% finished Fed up with it I'm hanging it up Fuck it, excuse the cursing, baby But just know that I'm a good person Though they portray me as cold And if things could worsen But I betcha they won't I'm pledging to throw this methadone in the toilet Spread these old letters I wrote On that old pathetic load And closing credits can roll I'm proud to be back I'm bound to Like a rematch I'll do relapse With recovery math There's LP to help propel me to victory laps Gas toward him and fast forward the past Consider them last four minutes as The song I'd have sang to my daughters If I'd have made it to the hospital Less than two hours later But I fought it Came back like a boomerang on him Now a new day is dawning I'm up Tuesday, it's morning Now I know