All right, I'm about to go, man.
On my ass.
I'm gonna do as much work as they pay me for.
I don't do extra *.
But before I go,
y'all been such a good crowd,
I'm gonna give y'all a little bonus joke.
Y'all want a clean joke or a dirty joke?
Dirty!
Look at all the filthy people, we like dirty.
Give us something dirty.
Right now, that's what we want.
We want a dirty joke.
All right, okay, now here's your dirty joke.
Now let me preface the joke with this.
Remember, you asked for it.
Now at the end of the joke,
don't be ooh and aah and talking about you wrong for that.
That was too nasty, that was too dirty.
It's not a true story,
so take it for the comedy and the joke,
all right?
All right?
Okay, here we go.
So he looked up in the bedroom window,
all the lights was out.
He thought to himself,
he was like,
ooh,
I'm gonna go up there
and give her a little pre-birthday surprise.
She ain't gonna never forget.
So he tiptoed up the stairs.
He went in the bedroom, all the lights was out.
All he could see was his wife's feet
hanging from under the cover.
So he took off all his clothes.
He slid under the cover.
He start tearing his wife up for a good hour and a half.
After he finished,
she was knocked out,
sleep snoring.
He got from under the covers,
he put on his boxers.
He was like,
woo,
Big Daddy did his thing tonight,
baby.
Let me go down to the kitchen and make myself a sandwich.
So on his way to the kitchen,
he saw the TV on in the living room.
He looked in the living room,
he saw his wife sitting on the couch.
He was like,
hey,
baby,
how you beaming downstairs
after all that good loving?
She was like,
shh,
fool,
your mama's upstairs in the bed
sleeping.
You do not want to wake her ass up.
Y'all can catch me on the King of Gospel Tour.
My name is Mark Simmons.
Thank you.
Breaking up is hard to do.
I must admit those words are true.
I know because I'm living proof.
Nothing's harder than leaving you.
You're like a drug that I can't shake.
Your love's a spell that I can't break.
You put me through hell, I give you take.
Tell me is this love or hate?
So leave if you want to leave.
I can't do this no more.
It would be best if you left the keys before you close the door.
I know it's gonna be hard for me to start all over again.
This is the way that it's got to be.
Good things come to an end.
It's time for you to ride.
It's time for you to roll.
Boy, you got to leave.
You got to go.
Boy, you made me cry
too many times.
Made up my mind, baby, goodbye.
So many fights.
None like the one we had last night.
No words can make things right.
Knew it was a sign.
Love has become so weak.
Just ain't as strong as it used to be.
The love I used to feel.
Beg you to stay with me so you can leave.
If you want to leave, I can't do this no more.