I'm about to get out of here, man.
I want y'all to be safe.
Take care of yourselves, okay?
When you go home, no judgment.
No matter what you like to do, you like to smoke, you like to drink.
Whatever you like to do, do it.
But just get home safe.
And to make sure you're safe, get home and make yourself some cereal, okay?
No, I'm serious.
It's the safest food.
You never seen nobody on the news after making cereal.
You ever seen anybody, sir, can you tell us what happened?
Well, I poured the milk in the Frosted Flakes and it backfired.
And he got Frosted Flakes, shrimp.
No, it's safe.
You never seen First 48.
He was found face down in a bowl of cereal.
That * don't happen.
It's safe.
It's safe.
Anybody got a favorite cereal?
Some * they used to eat or they eat now?
It's got to be delicious.
It's got to be good, though.
Anybody, what'd you say?
You said Lucky Charms.
Lucky Charms?
Okay, Lucky Charms, cool, but they didn't win a little too far.
That little leprechaun lost his mind.
It used to be five marshmallows.
Now it's 42 goddamn marshmallows.
Who can keep track of all them marshmallows?
Have you seen the commercial?
Blue moons, treasure chests, red balloons, stars, purple hearts, yellow dildos.
Wait a minute, Lucky.
What was the last one?
Don't try to sneak nothing in my mouth in the morning.
I don't want it.
Nope.
I'm good.
Anybody else favorite?
Anybody?
Name it out.
One at a time.
I can only hear if you say one.
You said shredded wheat.
If you don't shut your ass up, what are you, a storybook character?
Do you also eat porridge and curds of whey?
She didn't say frosted mini wheat.
She said shredded wheat.
That means the big one that looks like a hay bale.
You buy a box, there's only four of them in there,
because that's how much space they take up.
You get four.
Four hay bales of shredded wheat.
She didn't say frosted mini wheat.
She said shredded wheat.
Your mom break it in half.
Like, both of y'all get half a hay stack.
Anybody else favorite?
Count Chocula?
You getting your cereal at Big Lots?
Do they still make that?
I don't know if they still make that.
You might be getting your cereal at Big Lots.
Your cereal might be past its expiration date.
I don't know.
Y'all like chocolate cereal?
Who the people that like chocolate cereal?
If you like chocolate cereal, make some noise.
If you like the chocolate cereal,
the cereal is so chocolate that it turns to milk chocolate,
so now you're eating chocolate cereal with chocolate milk.
That's what y'all like?
Yeah.
You must also like to take a * at 10, 15 a.m.
What are you doing to your stomach?
Y'all are the first people to * on your job every day.
At 10, 20, you in the bathroom with your shoes off,
trying to hide who you are.
The rest of your coworkers outside,
who the * is shitting this early?
Nobody walks here barefoot.
What?
Nobody else favorite cereal?
Nobody?
You said Golden Grahams?
I don't even like graham crackers, so.
Golden Grahams is like a knockoff of Cinnamon Toast Crunch,
but Cinnamon Toast Crunch is so good.
That *'s so good, it don't need milk.
You'll punch somebody in the mouth over Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
You'll eat a whole box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch
and wake up with cinnamon dust on your chest.
You won't even feel bad about it.
Even the dust is good.
We already did that one.
We gonna get you a worksheet on the way out,
so we can make sure we catch you up on everything.
We gonna get her a worksheet on the way out,
because I'm pretty sure she don't know what all we've covered.
So whoever came with her,
make sure she gets her worksheets in you.