Did you hear what happened Last Saturday night
While dancin' and drinkin' We all got half-tied
Last Saturday night This sweet thing named Charmin
Was dancin' with me When I jumped her boyfriend
And he hollered at me Please don't squeeze my Charmin
Don't hold her so tight You'd best heed my warnin'
It's my last one tonight She's soft and she's gentle
And as sweet as can be And if Charmin needs squeezin'
Then leave that to me
Along about midnight I was feelin' no pain
And me and Miss Charmin Were dancin' again
Then Hank and Big Harlan
Got into a fight And I heard someone holler
As out went the light Please don't squeeze my Charmin
Don't hold her so tight You'd best heed my warnin'
It's my last one tonight She's soft and she's gentle
And as sweet as can be And if Charmin needs squeezin'
Then leave that to me And if Charmin needs squeezin'
Then leave that to me