I think once I took my first bike in it was just like this feeling of You know like everything was not only mellow, but didn't feel any pain They just didn't it just kind of numb things. I don't know at what point exactly it started to be a problem. I just remember Liking it more and more people tried to tell me that I had a problem I would say get that fucking person out of here. I can't believe they said that shit to me They know nothing about my fucking life, but I had a fucking mind. I'm not out there shooting heroin I'm not out there fucking you know putting coke up my nose. I'm not smoking crack. You're struggling with the argument of Do you have a problem, or do you not have a problem? Can you control it or can you not and I literally thought I could control it you're taking things that people are giving you that You don't even know what the fuck. They are they look like a pill and they look they're shaped like Something that you take so you take it You know Xanax Valium tomato tomato you know I mean, it's the same thing It's all in the same family fuck it take it had I have got to the hospital about two hours later. I Would have died my organs were shutting down my liver kidneys everything they were gonna have to put me on dialysis They didn't think I was gonna make it my bottom was gonna be death Within a month I had relapsed and shot right back up to same amount of pills that I was taking I remember just walking around my house and Thinking every single day like I'm gonna fucking die Like I'm looking at my kids, and I need to be here for this coming off of everything I literally was up 24 hours a day for three weeks Straight, and I mean not sleeping Not even nodding off for a fucking minute like I was literally just up like Looking at the TV. I had to regain motor skills. I had to regain talking skills. It's been a learning process like it's been I'm growing. I just couldn't believe that anybody could ever be Naturally happy or naturally function or be just enjoying life in general without being on something So I would say that to anybody that it does get better. You know it just it does