Happy New Year, everybody There's an overweight man with an overweight woman

On a sofa watching TV

He's yelling his opinion at the television

She looks up from her food and agrees They got two bumper stickers on there pick up truck

They keep the pick up parked outside

One sticker says, "What would Jesus do?"

The other bumper sticker says, "Power of pride" I was thumbing through the stations on my own television

When I come across a guy on this religious station

Singing, "Somebody's coming"

He's sounding whiter than me somehow Wow, it took me back in time through dwindling joy

To when I was such a guilt ridden Catholic boy

I'm evangelical agnostic now I don't know what we're doing here

You don't know what we're doing here Now Christians don't walk out on me just yet

You know whose name I'll be yelling as I'm clutching my chest

The one my dad told me to and his told him to

And I probably pray as much or more than you do Believing ***, every word I sing

But believing and knowing, those are two different things

And if your trying to change the way a strangers life will have to go

I believe this is where I wanna stick to what I know Which is nothing you know, nothing for sure

So just chill till the next episode Now back to the lecture at hand

Seems like my neighbor wants to kill what he can't understand

I say we can't just kill what we don't understand

But I turn on my TV and see that, oh, yeah, we can We can and we have since then dawn of man

For countless gods whose only real seeming plan

Was to see to it that clinging to life was our fate

And you gotta admit that life's pretty great But can we deny that it's killing us?

I'll be here all week Happy New Year, everybody

Happy Birthday country joe

I resolve to do like I always do

I ain't hurtin' you If life is anything it's embarrassing

A rusty nail through, a careless shoe

You can't help but sit around and wonder sometimes

Why there's never anything the nail can do Or think about how unfair it is

That the shoe is always going where it's got to

If you ain't the dumb kid out running around

You kinda gotta do what you're born to do Hey, happy new year, everybody

And specifically Happy Birthday to you country joe

I resolve to do what I always do

And I only ever make it a day or two