Hello, hello, calling of Karl Projectorinsky To the front of the cathedral you have won Dear sir, may I congratulate you first? Ah, what an honor Human, human of the year and you won Human, human of the year and you won Why are you so scared? You stand there shaking in your pew The icons are whispering to you They're just old men Like on the benches in the park Except their balding spots are glistening with gold Human, human of the year and you won Human, human of the year and you won Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, and you have won Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah Outside the cars are beeping Out of sun just in your honor And though they do not know it All mankind are now your brothers And as the cathedral had spoken Wishing well to all our sinners And with a sigh grew silent Till next year's big human winner Outside the cars are beeping Out of sun just in your honor And though they do not know it All mankind are now your brothers All mankind are now your brothers Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah Hello, hello, calling of Carl Projectorinsky To the front of the cathedral, you have won