Well, I love New York like everyone

And I go to Las Vegas to chill

I like Denver, Colorado 'cause it's so laid back

And Chicago keeps it real Well, I only leave Dallas when I have to but

When I do I like Tulsa, okay

And I ain't got nothing against California

But I can't stand L.A. Well, Orlando Florida is humid but it's swell

Austin and Nashville both freakin' rock

And New Orleans is evil but it's part of the appeal

You can gamble, drink and swear until you drop The state of Ohio's been great to our band

Along with Philli and Green Bay

I got nothing but love for Hollywood

But I can't stand L.A. I like Salt Lake City, Portland, Frisco, Santa Fe

Indianapolis, Hartford too

Boise, Memphis, Souix Falls and of course KC

Along with Pittsburgh and Kalamazoo Atlanta is our home away from home

And here's a shout out to Sauget

And I wish my friends would leave that place

'Cause I can't stand L.A. Traffic sucks, no protected lefts

Snooty fucks, pollution fills the air

Gang fights, 7 dollar beers

And the threat of breaking off into the sea And now to give LA the benefit of the doubt

Jimmy Kimmel In and Out and great sushi

And diversity everywhere

Really hot chicks wearing next to nothing

And the Santa Monica Pier Thank you for our hair metal and the '84 Olympics

And for the BFS radio play

But please don't take this personally

No, I'm happy to visit but I'm happier to leave

And I guess what it is I'm trying to say is I can't stand L.A.