Next, we'll hear from Steve Green, followed by Ira Pent, from his recording, The Faithful.
I was raised in a missionary background and was generally a good kid, at least up until
college years.
But that's one of the tough things of growing up in a Christian home, is the possibility
of getting just enough to immunize you against the real thing.
And I picked up the externals and I missed the heart of it.
And then the other problem is measuring goodness by external things, the visible things.
You know, I think that that really was my heart.
I was a true good legalist.
I was generally good for people to notice, for lots of reasons.
One is because my dad would kill me if I wasn't, you know.
And you subtly take on the pressure of not wanting to embarrass your parents, hinder
the work of the Lord.
You know, the accepted standards that have been set for you.
The only problem with that is, it doesn't work and you can't keep it up.
Although I come from a Christian home, there was a gradual declining and descending that
ended up really until I was 26 years of age.
And still at that point, most people on the outside would say, he's a pretty together
person, you know, a clean-cut spiritual person.
Maybe they would say that.
But I was not at all.
And the huge gap between perceived picture of who I was and the reality of my heart was
growing.
And so I wouldn't say at all, I mean, I had wronged many people, I had sinned, I had broken
God's heart.
You know, my mind and my heart were full of impurities.
So when the Lord brought me back to himself at that point, it was a huge work of God's
grace and a huge work of revival.
And I had a lot to repent of.
It took me several weeks to clean my conscience and to go to all the people I had wronged
and make things right.
Repentance has been an ongoing thing because what's happened is this, when the Lord first
did that work in me, the huge revelation was a picture of the holiness of God.
And then an awful awareness of the wretchedness of my own life and my heart, the hypocrisy,
the pretense, my sinfulness.
So I came running to Christ to fill up that gap.
And now for the past 15 years, what's happened is, as I've gotten to know the Lord more,
I have seen more of his righteousness and his holiness.
So he's getting bigger and I'm getting worse, meaning that I'm seeing more and more of my
own wretchedness and my sin and my needs.
So the gap between my condition and God's holiness is getting bigger.
So I need a bigger Lord to fill that gap and it causes me to keep running to him, to depend
upon him, to bridge that gulf that I can't bridge.
Instead of focusing my attention on stop doing that, don't sin, don't do this, what I really
need is a renewed love for Christ.
The effect of that renewed love is the driving away of false affections and wrong desires.
But it has to be the object of my attention, which is a renewed love for Christ.
Your love is in me, it doesn't always win me, when competing with my sin.
And I repent, making no excuses, I repent.
No one else to blame.
And I return to fall in love with Jesus.
I bow down on my knees and I repent.
I lament the idols I've accepted, the commandments I've rejected, to pursue my selfish end.
And I confess, I need you to revive me with selfishness behind me and take up my cross again.
And I repent, making no excuses, I repent.
No one else to blame.
And I return to fall in love with Jesus.
I bow down on my knees and I return to fall in love with Jesus.
I bow down on my knees and I repent.
I bow down on my knees and I repent.