I've had my pet

Since I was nine years old

I loved him and fed him

But one day he attacked

I knew he didn't love me back

So I grabbed him like a football

And punted fifty yards Now I hate pets

Take yourself to the vet

Now I hate pets

Dolphins trapped in little nets

Now I hate pets

You little ***

Screaming ***-bag

I should of let your mother

Eat you, little ***er So I got a little birdy

And I trained it everyday

He knew 1000 words

But then he flew away

But then I got him back

The ***er wouldn't shut his trap

So I took him to the bathroom

And rubbed his beak in *** Now I hate pets

Spotted owls in their nests

Now I hate pets

Bagged a deer and made a vest

Now I hate pets

Birds and bees and bears and bison

Pigs and parrots and pandas

I *** hate them all!!! I was walking through the park

When a snake peered from his hole

A perfect opportunity

To take the *** home

I chopped his *** head off

With my handy garden hoe

And made a lovely hat-band

For my redneck cousin Bo, heee-haaw! Now I hate pets

10,000 volts to the chest

Now I hate pets

Fed my cat some cigarettes

Now I hate pets

You little ***

Screaming ***-bag

***

*** you, you

***ing pig-*** licker, ***!!!!!!