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Michel Sardou
Maman (Sketch Avec Jackie Sardou)

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Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Where are you?
Don't worry about me. Work.
I get up and I push you.
You don't wake up.
Not too many gestures, huh?
Well, stop.
You're not going to talk while I sing, are you?
What are you saying?
I'm saying, don't make too many gestures.
Your father was sober. Be sober.
I'm telling you, that's not for me, Michel.
You're the one who sings.
I know.
You've grown, haven't you?
Since when?
Since Monday.
If you ask me that, for me to tell you
that I put heels in my shoes,
I'll tell you, yes, I put heels in my shoes.
You know what can happen with heels.
We've talked about it.
Yes.
Remember.
Yes.
That it's dangerous for the circulation of the legs,
so for the kidneys and the colon.
Yes.
Come on, mom.
You don't want me, I have to sing, huh?
Some have it in their heads.
Horrible migraines.
And the migraines, you know it all.
You told me, yes, you told me.
Some die.
Listen, mom, never mind.
I'm going to die, I didn't do it on purpose.
You'll read in the newspapers,
an artist commits suicide by putting heels in his shoes.
You'll know, it's me.
But finally, don't take it on this tone.
I'm your mother.
A mother has to take a head-to-head with her son.
Be careful with your heels.
Still, I'm not a foreigner.
But we're not in a head-to-head, mom.
Thank you.
Mom?
Why don't you come see me?
I'm coming to see you, mom.
How can you say that?
I came four days ago, three days ago, and today again.
Yes, but two days ago, it's as if I didn't exist.
No, it's not.
Oh, mom.
Sing, my son.
Your jacket is beautiful.
Thank you.
Put on these buttons, it's better.
Okay.
Sing, don't worry about me.
I'll call you, mom.
Come on.
As much for me.
Three buttons.
It's me who made a mistake.
Well, sing.
What are you going to sing?
My way.
How?
My way.
As usual.
You shouldn't sing that one. It'll never work.
Say the words from the beginning.
I get up and I shake you.
You shake her? After?
What after?
After.
You don't wake up as usual.
Notice she doesn't wake up. You're right to shake her.
A woman shouldn't stay in bed all day.
Go, my son.
Your mother is on your side.
Well, there you go.
Finally, he's laughing.
You're laughing. You're awake.
Sing now.
I'm not saying anything anymore.
Sing.
Michel, sing.
As usual, I'll wait for you.
As usual, you'll smile at me.
As usual.
As usual.
As usual.
As usual, you'll take off your clothes.
As usual, you'll go to bed.
As usual, we'll make love.
As usual.
As usual.
As usual, you'll never forget.
As usual, you'll make love.
Again, again, again.
As usual, you still have to win.
This sai Изан dishonassy.
Look.
I'm wise.
I'm wise.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Where are you?
Don't worry about me. Work.
I get up and I push you.
You don't wake up.
Not too many gestures, huh?
Well, stop.
You're not going to talk while I sing, are you?
What are you saying?
I'm saying, don't make too many gestures.
Your father was sober. Be sober.
I'm telling you, that's not for me, Michel.
You're the one who sings.
I know.
You've grown, haven't you?
Since when?
Since Monday.
If you ask me that, for me to tell you
that I put heels in my shoes,
I'll tell you, yes, I put heels in my shoes.
You know what can happen with heels.
We've talked about it.
Yes.
Remember.
Yes.
That it's dangerous for the circulation of the legs,
so for the kidneys and the colon.
Yes.
Come on, mom.
You don't want me, I have to sing, huh?
Some have it in their heads.
Horrible migraines.
And the migraines, you know it all.
You told me, yes, you told me.
Some die.
Listen, mom, never mind.
I'm going to die, I didn't do it on purpose.
You'll read in the newspapers,
an artist commits suicide by putting heels in his shoes.
You'll know, it's me.
But finally, don't take it on this tone.
I'm your mother.
A mother has to take a head-to-head with her son.
Be careful with your heels.
Still, I'm not a foreigner.
But we're not in a head-to-head, mom.
Thank you.
Mom?
Why don't you come see me?
I'm coming to see you, mom.
How can you say that?
I came four days ago, three days ago, and today again.
Yes, but two days ago, it's as if I didn't exist.
No, it's not.
Oh, mom.
Sing, my son.
Your jacket is beautiful.
Thank you.
Put on these buttons, it's better.
Okay.
Sing, don't worry about me.
I'll call you, mom.
Come on.
As much for me.
Three buttons.
It's me who made a mistake.
Well, sing.
What are you going to sing?
My way.
How?
My way.
As usual.
You shouldn't sing that one. It'll never work.
Say the words from the beginning.
I get up and I shake you.
You shake her? After?
What after?
After.
You don't wake up as usual.
Notice she doesn't wake up. You're right to shake her.
A woman shouldn't stay in bed all day.
Go, my son.
Your mother is on your side.
Well, there you go.
Finally, he's laughing.
You're laughing. You're awake.
Sing now.
I'm not saying anything anymore.
Sing.
Michel, sing.
As usual, I'll wait for you.
As usual, you'll smile at me.
As usual.
As usual.
As usual.
As usual, you'll take off your clothes.
As usual, you'll go to bed.
As usual, we'll make love.
As usual.
As usual.
As usual, you'll never forget.
As usual, you'll make love.
Again, again, again.
As usual, you still have to win.
This sai Изан dishonassy.
Look.
I'm wise.
I'm wise.
Thank you.
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