When I accepted this job, I was resigned to my fate
When I got there early, she'd arrive late
You can say she's gone forever, or just sit tight and wait
She said I was unprincipled, that I was not the first
Like the phoenix coming back from the ashes
I know what's good, but I know what trash is
In the headlines, in the highlights up ahead
Hit the headlines, but she's not there
Many happy returns, many happy returns
These are the lessons I could have learned
Return, many happy returns
And these are the letters I should have burned
Okay, I'm sad and I'm blue
Okay, remember
All that matters to me now
Is the message I sent her
Like the world spinning round on its axis
I know democracy, but I know what's fascist
When she's gone, all I've got to learn
Is the law of diminishing return
When she's here, one thing I've found
Things get better second time around
Return, many happy returns
These are the lessons I could have learned
Return, many happy returns
And these are the letters I should have burned
Okay, I'm sad and I'm blue
Okay, remember
All that matters to me now
Is the message I sent her
When she's gone, she's gone away
When she's gone, forget her
I'm calling her another day
If you don't get her
Now she's gone, she's gone away
Now she's gone, forget her
I'm coming back no other day
So I resurrect her
Many happy returns, many happy returns
These are the lessons I should have learned
Many happy returns, many happy returns
These are the letters I should have burned
Thank you for watching!