My favorite byproduct of monogamy,
and it didn't even dawn on me that this would be the case,
and when I figured this out,
I felt a huge weight just flutter off my shoulders.
And a lot of you guys might not realize this,
so this could be a big night in your life,
because I'm about to impart to you
the most important thing I've ever learned.
So, guys, I want you to open up your senses
and really take this in.
Don't waste this moment, because here it comes.
Here it comes.
Here it comes.
Guys, if you only * your wife,
you can't get caught.
Feel it?
Feel it?
Nobody gives a rat's ass.
Nobody's ever gonna kick you in a bedroom door.
You motherfucker, is that your old lady?
I may be exaggerating that stroke just a little bit.
But still a ferocious piece of ass,
although easily winded.
If you don't mind stopping and starting,
I might be the best * on the planet.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
That's the way I roll, ladies.
But my favorite place to have sex is on my tour bus,
because if I don't quite have the
wind to get her there,
I can just holler at that driver,
pump the brakes.
Faster.
Thanks, Pat. Boy, that Pat can *, can't he?