My mom love Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am Cause I'm like her Because my mom love Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on Cause I'm my mom My mom, my mom, I know you're probably tired of hearing about my mom But this is just a story of when I was just a shorty and how I became home Going back out, yeah, home Valium was in everything, food that I ate, the water that I drank, fucking peas in my plate She sprinkled just enough of it to season my steak So every day I'd have at least three stomach aches Now tell me, what kind of mother would want to see her son grow up to being under a fucking fever? My teacher didn't think I was gonna be nothing either What the fuck you sticking gum up under the fucking teepa? Mrs. Mathers, your son has been huffing ether Either that or the motherfucker's been puffing reefer But all this huffing and puffing wasn't what it was either, it was neither I was buzzing but it wasn't what she thought Pee in a teacup? Bitch, you ain't my keeper, I'm sleeping What the fuck you keep on fucking with me for? Slut, you need to leave me the fuck alone I ain't playing, go find you a white crayon and call her a fucking zebra My mom love Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am Cause I'm like her Because my mom love Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on Cause I'm like her Wait a minute, this ain't dinner, this is pink dinner You ate it yesterday, I ain't hear no complaints, did I? Now here's a plate full of painkillers Now just wait till I crush the Valium and put it in your potatoes You little motherfucker, I'll make you sit there and make that retarded fucking face without even tasting it You better lick the fucking plate, you ain't wasting it Put your face in it before I throw you in the basement again And I ain't giving in, you're gonna just sit there in one fucking place Finnegan till next Thanksgiving And if you still ain't finished it, I'll use the same shit again And when I make spinach dip, it'll be placed in the shit You little shit wanna sit there and play innocent A rack fella hit me at Kmart and they witnessed it Shazza part your father, he ain't sent the shit And so what if he did? It's none of your dang business, kid My mom, there's no one else quite like my mom I know I sure let bygones be bygones But she's the reason why I am high, what I'm high on Cause my mom love Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am, cause I'm like her Because my mom love Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on, cause I'm my mom My mom love Valium, now all I am is a party animal I am what I am, but I'm strong to the finish with me Valium spinach But my bars only last about two minutes But I don't wanna swallow it without you in it I can't even write a rhyme without you in it My Valium, my Valium Man, I never thought that I could ever be a drug addict Nah, fuck that, I can't have it happen to me But that's actually what has ended up happening It's tragedy, the fucking past ended up catching me And it's probably where I got acquainted with the taste, ain't it? Pharmaceuticals to the bomb, my beautiful She killed the fucking dog with the medicine, she done fed it Feed it a fucking aspirin and say that it has a headache Here, want a snack? You hungry, you fucking brat? Look at that, it's a Xanax, take it and take a nap Eat it, but I don't need it Well, fuck it, then break it up Take a little piece and beat it before you wake Nathan up I ain't arguing, I don't feel like arguing I'll do it, pop a goblet and start wobbling Stumble, hobble, tumble, slip, drip Then I fall in bed with a bottle of meds And a Heath Ledger bobblehead My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am, cause I'm like her Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on, cause I'm my mom My mom, I'm just like her My mom, my mom, my mom My mom, my mom, my mom My mom, my mom, my mom