I pull the blinds then I take my clothes off
Dance around the house like nature boy
My genitalia and pectoral muscles aren't
Quite what I would like them to be
But you don't see me
No one can see me

I pull my blinds
Fill out my income tax form
Pen in hand I write so legibly
I have my kitty. His name is Allowishus, I stroke him
But you don't see me
No one should see me

I pull the blinds
For the sun glares off my tele and I find it quite so irritating
I have my videos-loads of Ren and Stimpy
Bottom-a bit of pornography
But you don't see me
No one should see me

I've been persecuted since I sailed in through the door!
And I've been known to sing a song in 3 and 4 and 5!
And I've been gettin my ass chewed out since the day I arrived here!