Some people may not understand me.
Sick of walking around pretending like I'm happy.
Feeling like collapsing from all the weight I carried.
Remember as a kid it was tough.
Never really received the love.
Didn't realize I'd try to avoid this pain.
Try to cover it up with alcohol and marry Jane.
Only time I felt sane with the poison in my veins.
Mom and Tim look at what I'm doing to myself.
I just want to be happy like everybody else.
They look at daddy man like I'm a villain.
Why talk about it if he ain't here to listen?
I'm the one trying to make up for the feelings I was missing.
If only feeling pain, what's
the point in even living?
Waking up day to day feeling the stress.
Feeling distressed.
I know I'm a mess but isn't life just a test?
I learned how to progress, get over the pain
in my chest like the world might if it was so stressed.
Took a year to realize all it
does is make me more depressed.
Smoked more and more.
Drank more and more.
Not healthy
for the heart that's already torn.
Since the day I was born my mother always swore no matter
how long I'm gone the devil never take away her bond.
When I lost you I was torn
apart.
Didn't know how to deal with a broken heart.
All I wanted was to be in your arms.
15 years of shedding tears.
Wish you could have taken away my tears.
Was beaten left
and right.
Felt like it was a normal life.
Didn't know how to properly smile.
Wish I
had a number to dial.
Felt like I was living with the crocodiles in the Nile.
Just wanted my mother when I was a child.
Wanted a different lifestyle where I could
always smile.
And now life is just a trial.
And my father couldn't stick with the stormy weather.
Just know mama I love you forever.
Other times I didn't know how to put the world together.