Why, oh why, oh why, oh Why did I ever leave Ohio? Why did I wander to find what lies yonder When life was so cozy at home? Wondering why, I wonder Why did I, why, why did I roam? Oh, why, oh why, oh Did I leave Ohio? Maybe I'd better go O-H-I-O Maybe I'd better go home Mother, this song still doesn't explain why you abandoned your children Ohio was stifling and we couldn't wait to get out of the place And I told you, Sue, we're going to be hunting Nazis And Pop said, Sue, this might take a little while Well, those Nazis are slippery And me hunting them way down in Lima, Peru We'd get postcards from Niagara Falls I'm stalking Mangala in Bolivian Mall Three times a year we'd get crackling phone calls Happy birthday Hunting Nazis Merry Christmas Hunting Nazis Homesick Abandoned Heartsick Neglected Thank heavens we're free Why, oh why, oh why, oh Why did I ever leave Ohio? Oh, why, oh why, oh Did I leave Ohio? Maybe I'd better stay home