We lost a striker, and haven't won those laps Soak in the wet, I broke down in the flood
laps He went past me, as I fell in a heartbeat
Another goal conceded, my manager looks to sub me
I hear the crowd murmur
He's not fit to wear the badge
And while you're at it, strip him of that armband
He's not good enough to wear the badge
And while you're at it, strip him of the captain's armband
In the halfway circle, I lost the ball's flight
In a concrete stadium, on a rainy Thursday night
I'm a YouTube smash hit, but nothing there is now new
But these clips don't show all the good I do
Passes to our playmaker, the strikers pushed wide
All the options my distribution brings to the side
Ticking off, before the end of the first half
I can't clear crosses, shots hitting my hands
Passing, don't go to speed, but straight in at the stands
I'm our team's calamitous joke of a semi-half
League Cup quarter-final away at Rotterdam
Should I pen anchor straight to the keeper's arms?
I'm losing my head, I'm losing all reason
I've made twelve mistakes, leading the goals of the season
Ticking off, before the end of the first half
I can't clear crosses, shots hitting my hands
Passing, don't go to speed, but straight to the stands
I'm our team's calamitous joke of a centre-half
They call into the radio
He's not good enough, not good enough for the badge
He's not good enough, strip him of that captain's armband
He's not good enough to wear this shirt
And strip him while you're at it of that captain's armband
I'm this team's calamitous joke of a centre-half
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