This place is like quicksand
Birmingham's Venice, Glasgow's Detroit
Redlington's Prague by the sea
Sun's high in sky on English Riviera
The whole world is drinking with me
Between the jukebox and ladies' looms
A crazy path nobody would choose
We're on a once-in-a-lifetime cruise
This place is like quicksand
Sure I've been this place before
Keep peeping in the same old door
Keep sticking to the same old floor
This place, this place is like quicksand
I'm sat next to the very same bloke
Who's telling me the very same joke
Barman has to give me a poke
This place is like quicksand
Coventry's Paris, Bristol's Madrid
South End's our own Saint-Tropez
I've been to every one but only in spirit
And we're drinking away there today
Between the jukebox and ladies' looms
A crazy path nobody would choose
We're on a once-in-a-lifetime cruise
This place is like quicksand
Well Laurence Fox is where I'd set frets
Devoid of soul but high on met
Buy your shoes from Benson's for beds
This place is like quicksand
We're fucklets, we're idiots but God was strong
Our feet are stuck but our reach is long
We're trapped and scared but we're singing this song
This place is like quicksand
We're on a once-in-a-lifetime cruise
Between the jukebox and ladies' loops
A crazy path nobody would choose
We're on a once-in-a-lifetime cruise
This place is like quicksand
This place is like quicksand