Go back, go back, go back to your dorm.
You got your roommate.
And that never works out.
That never works out.
They don't want it to work out.
They want it so it's like a real world episode
in your dorm room.
That's it.
Like, I don't understand, like they have the compatibility
test you fill out at the beginning of the year.
That's such a joke, that test you fill out
at the beginning of the year.
It's like, I like rock and roll.
I like staying up late.
And I love the ladies, oh yeah, cool.
Okay, we got a perfect roommate for you.
He's an opera major, he's an archileptic, and he's gay.
So go fight each other.
We got four camera angles, that'll be perfect.
Welcome to college, go screw yourself.
Yeah, that's what we say here, go ahead.
Then you think, you say, okay, I gotta beat my buddy
from high school's coming up.
He's gonna be my roommate, he's gonna be awesome.
No, that is never awesome.
It doesn't work out.
No, it doesn't, I hate to tell you.
You will fight each other.
You will just get, I'll tell you why.
One is, they have too much dirt on you.
Your friend from home has too much dirt,
they'll kill you, they'll crush you
in an argument for no reason.
Like, you just say, hey man, the dishes have been
in the sink for like two weeks, man.
They're your dishes, are you gonna clean them or what?
Yeah, you remember when you had crabs in sixth grade?
Yeah.
Not fair to bring up my crabs.