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Stupid Southern Wedding
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Pulled up the drive in Richmond, full of beer, a mouth of paste, who could still be living here?
And why do they all look the same, like the southern sun had melted them down?
And cast them in the cold Virginia ground?
We crawled back to the hotel
We crawled back to the hotel
The groom was drunk and in despair, in the arms of an old flame
Making out at the top of the stairs, like the southern sun had broken their resolve
Bad blood and desperation is all I recall
Bad blood and desperation is all I recall
Cause there isn't any reason to be waiting here like Salome
For the head of John the Baptist to be brought to you upon a train
She tastes of blood and money, bitterness
She tastes of blood and money, bitterness
Unslow divorce ends a gradual unwindin'
Like the evening takes its course
And southern girls will learn to regret
Everything but the sickly sweet taste of regret
Everything but the sickly sweet taste of regret
So she takes what's been offered
As the cake is passed around on paper plates
And the bride looks, it's so fine
As she's throwin' out the bouquet
She was squirmin' like a fish on the line
On the line
They're still on side and resigned
Cause there isn't any reason that's between us
We're the painful self
Take what you've been given
Don't put your faith in anyone
It's a stupid southern wedding
Your college friends have all come out to see
This lurid spectacle of a Bible-thumping Greek tragedy
But the southern soul built in them time
And cast the veil of the cold
For a ship you'll regret
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