Meanwhile, it's time for, as the shopping cart turns,
The Adventures of Hal and Joanie, the Valley's Most Irritating Media Couple.
Let's join Hal as he anxiously awaits Joanie's return from grocery shopping at Twitty's.
Oh, isn't life grand?
Who'd ever think that a wishy-washy XPM magazine host like me
would end up doing Twitty's TV commercials with my annoyingly cute wife?
Oh, here comes Joanie now.
Hi, Hal.
Hi, Joanie.
Oh, Hal, isn't life grand?
I found such wonderful bargains at Twitty's today.
Here, help me unload these double-strength bags
as we begin another nauseatingly phony conversation.
Okay, Joanie.
Say, Orange Crush, just six for a dollar at Twitty's.
Uh, Joanie, what's this?
What's what, darling?
Uh, this cash register receipt.
It's not from Twitty's.
It's from Alpha Bash's.
Oh, Joanie, you've been seeing a lot.
Oh, Hal, I'm so sorry.
Alpha Bash has seduced me with bargain boosters.
But I swear, on my double coupons, it will never happen again.
I don't know, Joanie.
The thought of some strange bag boy packing your groceries,
it's too much for me to bear.
I'm calling my lawyer.
On this GE cordless phone, just $16.88 at Twitty's.
No, Hal, don't.
Please, please forgive me.
Look what Mommy bought Daddy.
Daddy?
Twinkies.
My favorite.
Box of 12, just $1.19 at Twitty's.
Oh, Joanie, I forgive you.
Oh, Hal, let's be coy like in the old days.
Just as long as we're coy together, snookums.
Oh, isn't life grand?