Hey, I am so glad that nobody's wearing a vest in here tonight
Yeah, we're not talking like, ladies, you might wear a vest to accentuate your outfit
No, we're talking like, guys, you gotta go to a camping store and buy
It's got duck feathers in it
Even when my mom put a vest on me when I was younger
I was like, well, I guess we don't have that much money
When do we get the rest of the jacket, lady, on your tax check?
My elbows are cold
I don't know how a grown man goes to buy that piece of clothing
A grown man going to buy a vest
Hey, how you doing?
You got something in here to keep me kind of warm?
I don't know how that same man gets ready to go tonight
Hey, baby, is it cold out?
All right, bring me my life jacket
All right
You know what I believe?
I believe other kids in other countries or other people are walking around with our sleeves
These poor kids in Africa, it's 110 degrees, they're out there
What kind of jacket is this?
My elbows are hot
You guys are cool
You guys have come for comedy
I just found out before the show there was no alcohol
And I asked them, I was like, well, what do you guys give them?
They're like, we got candy
We got candy
That was the coolest comedy club I've ever been to
I don't know what they're talking about
I don't know what they're talking about


Are you kidding me?
Nobody, nobody is going to get up and be rowdy
Maybe on a sugar high, maybe this guy's got the diabetes
Stay away from the bar, sir
This guy's 5,000 years old
I don't know if you guys can see him, but
It might be George Washington's brother, I don't know
Michael
Stop staring
Listen, there's a group of men out there
Could be women, too
There's a whole society
They are dedicated to finding Bigfoot
Now listen!
I don't care if you think Bigfoot is real
That's not what I'm
My thing is, there's other things you people
Could devote your time to
Solve other mysteries on the planet
If you got that much time
Waiting for a big hairy man to walk past you
Like, come to our house
Come to our house
Solve some mysteries in our house
Like, find the other sock
Where is it?
Find the lids to my Tupperware
Tell me why nobody cares that Kanye West
Is hoarding money from me
He's got some nuts in his cheeks
I love that, you're like
Oh, yeah
Tell me why you white people don't get mad
With mimes put on whiteface
So I
You can keep laughing, that was funny