That's what I chose to do with my life, okay?
I've had lots of jobs, all types of jobs,
and I can't work regular jobs anymore.
I'm glad to work for myself,
because I don't like people telling me
what to do all the time.
Sometimes people want to tell you, you know,
hey, you got to take a drug test.
Wait a minute, because it's * up,
because if they tell you to take a drug test,
you're not allowed to have follow-up questions.
They can come and they be like,
okay, you got to take a drug test.
Make sure you take it by three.
You can't be like, hey, yeah, but what y'all looking for?
Let's just go ahead and get that out the way.
I don't want to waste anybody's time.
You ever failed a drug test?
That's the worst feeling in the world.
I failed a drug test one time.
I gave him the urine.
He came back and looked at me
like I should have known better.
He was like...
He didn't even take it to the lab.
He held it up in the light in front of everybody.
Ah, nope.
Hey, take that * to the lab.
He was like, sir, it's a seed right here.
You're going to mess up your kidneys if you...
He said, I'm a good worker.
That don't, look, I don't like working regular jobs,
but that don't mean I'm not a good worker.
I'm going to work hard for the things I'm going to work for.
And you can tell me what to do as long as it applies.
It applies to work, but you can't tell me
to do stuff that has to do with me.
You can't tell me what time to take a lunch break.
I know what time I need to eat.
I'm a grown person.
I know my food schedule.
But some jobs, they'll come in and just because it's busy,
they want to just come in and be like,
hey, Clayton, we got a busy day.
I need you to go ahead and take a lunch break right now.
No.
It's 1015.
I just got here.
No, if I eat again, I'm going to * on myself.
I had two McGriddles for breakfast.
Everybody knows you eat two McGriddles,
you * at 1pm.
You eat anything on top of those two McGriddles
and you * immediately.
So either you going to let me do it my way
or you going to give me a sick day for shitting on myself.
So get the * out my face, Gary.
I've been fired from a lot of jobs also.
I don't know.
I'm a guard.
Oh man.
I have.
I've done all types of stuff.
Oh, waiters, waitresses, can I get a beer also too?
When they get a chance, like a Heineken up here.
It's hot up here.
These are the same lights they use
to make rotisserie chicken.
It's hot.
They're just a little further away.
Make sure you take care of the waiters, the waitresses too.
I used to wait tables and I know how you all act.
You come out.
and you act rude and disrespectful
and you keep asking for *
that you don't even have at your house.
Don't keep asking me for *
you don't even have at home.
You always get those ladies that don't order *,
they come in, excuse me, can I get a clean fork?
Do you have that at home?
Get your ass out of here, lady.
I know you a hoarder.
Oh, man, all right.
Oh, yes, you see how fast she did that?
Make some noise for her, that's what I'm talking about.
You see that?
All right, yeah.
Now, I done had all types of jobs,
but this is my job, I love doing it, man.
I get to travel all around the world.
I get to talk to people in different places.
It's been great.